Oh no! No more smoking at the quiz or the pub or in the bath or the bedroom. Come July 1st I’m going to find it very difficult to enjoy any social occasion without a fag in my mouth now the fascists have got their way.

I really enjoy a snout (even when I play badminton I always book a smoking court) and a pint and fag are synonymous.

The down side of smoking

1.It’s unhealthy for me
2.It’s unhealthy for others around me
3.It’s expensive
4.It makes your clothes/breath smell

The up side of smoking

1.I ENJOY IT !!!!

I will not be going to the pub much now, what’s the point.
It’s like saying well you can go but you can only have orange juice.
Why would I want to do that?

Another thing. I hate it when you go round someones house and they say
“Well I’d prefer it if you smoked outside…” So there you are, standing outside, excluded from the conversation with a draft up your jacksy…
Anyway fellow smokers, I’ve come up with the ideal response to that one.
When you return the invitation to your non smoking mates and they’re in YOUR house, say “ We’re about to have a cigarette now,
so if you’d like to stand out in the pissing rain, please feel free to do so…”
Funnily enough no ones taken me up on it………

A recent survey has also shown that smokers are more interesting,
better conversationalists, more handsome, and make the best lovers.
So put that in your pipe and smoke it (or not as the case may be).
I may have made that up I’m not sure.

Some of the things I wish they would ban

1.Children in pubs
2.Chewing gum
3.McDonalds Burger bars (and all the others)
4.Rap Music and all it’s genres
5.Lager
6.Tropical plants in English gardens
7.Lady in Red by Chris de Burgh
8.Talentless snivelling teens on TV talent shows who have
“waited all their life for success”
9.So called “posh” weddings on tropical beaches where the groom is
stuffed into white tails but his bulging neck and red face
betrays the fact that he’s a budding wife beater
10.Anyone else that isn’t my mate or family.

Anyway, I’m off to have my injection and therapy , so see you next time.

Steve 19/06/07